Disk: What slips in your back after slaving over the computer for 10 hours.
LapTop Computer: A device invented to force people to work at home, on holiday, and any other time that used to be called 'after work'.
502: The average IQ needed to understand your computer.
Chips: Standard geek nutritional supplement consumed because cooking keeps them away from their keyboards too long.
Crash: A normal computer response to any deadline or realisation that you haven't saved in the last hour.
Boot: What you would like to give Microsoft after the latest virus attack.
Service: What you used to get before computers enabled the manufacturers to out source tech departments to Indian or East Asian call centers.
Tab: What your friends have to pick up when they have a coffee with you because you're destitute after buying the latest software package.
State-Of-The-Art: Any computer you can't afford to buy.
Obsolete: Any computer you own or can afford to buy.
Nanosecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G4: Apple's new Macs that make you say 'Gee, four times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Nanosecond ago.'
Apple: All you can afford to eat after buying the latest G5 dual processor tower that made G4's obsolete a Nanosecond ago.
Pro: Short for the high paying job you will need to take to pay for the latest Intel Macintosh that just replaced all the G3's, G4's, and G5's that were the best thing possible until a nanosecond ago.
Cursor: What you become when your computer crashes, example: "You &#!?&%!! computer!"
Delete: What any major upgrade does to the one file you didn't back-up.
Programs: Things you once watched on television before getting hooked on your new computer.
Keyboard: The standard way to make computer errors and crashes.
Mouse: The advanced way to make computer errors and crashes.
IBM: A kind of missile you think of dropping on your computer when you can't figure out how to use a Program.
iPod: A cool method for Apple to remove money from your wallet while you think it is your life which is being enriched.
Zune: The projected time in which Microsoft promises they will make a decent MP3 player.
Cool: A basic raw material for the latest generation of electronic devices. Almost the entire world's supply appears to have been bought up by Apple.
Processor: A device for making nutritional supplements while you wait for web sites to download on dial-up.
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hello, money is no object, now I want to buy a computer."
Hard Drive: Sales technique employed by computer salesmen, following a Syntax Error.
Floppy: Your wallet after a computer salesperson has used a Hard Drive.
Menu: A forgotten language after buying your computer because you can no longer afford to eat in a restaurant.
GUI: (pronounced 'gooey') What your keyboard becomes after spilling coffee on it.
Windows: The source of numerous viral infections after being screwed by Bill Gates.
Bug: What your eyes look like after seeing how many SPAM messages are in your inbox.